Exes Are Crazy
by Cheating Death
Summary: Sequel to Valentine's Kiss. When Hidan picks Hinata up for their date, there's no telling what could happen. How will Hinata's friends react when they see her with the attractive older male? And what will happen when Hidan's ex shows up?


**Okay, I got enough positive feedback and decided to do a sequel to 'Valentine Kiss'. It was kind of a pain because I didn't have a whole bunch of good ideas, but in the end I think I managed to write up a halfway decent story. Or so my delusional mind thinks. It's the meds I tell you! They impair my thinking! Anyway, please review to let me know if you liked it or thought it was complete garbage. My response is 'Thank you!' regardless. :D**

**Exes Are Crazy**

"Soooo...where is Hidan Sempai taking his lovely date this afternoon?" Tobi hugged Keiko, his chocolate dinosaur, admiring its shiny green foil as he followed Hidan down the sidewalk.

Hidan threw an annoyed glance at the masked boy. "Do you think I'm stupid enough to tell you? The last thing I need is for you to show up halfway through and fuck it up."

"We could double!" Tobi suggested, holding up Keiko.

"First, find yourself a real fucking girl. That's really fucking creepy... Second, I'd rather jump in front of an oncoming bus before I double with you," the older male grumbled. "Go bother Deidara or something. I'm sure he'd _love_ for you to tag along with him and his girlfriend."

"That's a great idea! I must go find him!" Without a second thought, Tobi took off down the street. "Deidara Sempai! Where are you!?"

Hidan quirked an eyebrow. "Well, that got rid of the moron..."

_Three hours later_

Hinata closed the cash register, then stuffed an envelope of money into the safe below it. "Finally done for the day."

She looked at the clock, swallowing a small lump in her throat. It was four o'clock, the time that she had told Hidan that she would getting off work. Although excited about the date, she couldn't help but feel apprehensive.

_What if I_ _do something stupid in_ _front of him? Or what if he_ _thinks I'm boring? Or what if he doesn't show up?_

"Hey, Hinata."

The girl jumped slightly, as she had not heard anyone enter the store. "H-Hidan. I didn't even see you come in."

"You looked like you were in some sort of daze," he joked, causing her to blush in embarrassment. "So, are you ready for our date?"

Hinata looked down at herself, still dressed in the provocative attire that her elderly boss had provided with her. "Um, should I go home and change first?"

Hidan smirked. "Why? You look really hot in that outfit."

Her red face turned a few shades darker as she reached down to tug at her short skirt. "N-no, I'm not..."

His eyes lingered on her breasts for a moment, loving the way they swelled out with a good amount of cleavage. "I'm a guy, so take my word for it."

Hinata didn't respond, instead shyly tucking a lock of dark hair behind her ear as she looked down at the floor.

"Do you need to do anything else before we take off?" Hidan asked her.

"No, I just finished counting my drawer and there's nothing else to do," she told him, then switched off the lights. "I just need to lock up."

They exited the candy store, Hinata shocked at how warm it was for a day in February. She hoped it would stay that way if she was going to be out and about in an outfit that didn't exactly provide much coverage.

"So, I was thinking about seeing a movie," Hidan told her as she locked the doors. "And then maybe get something to eat. I know, it sounds fucking cliché, but I kind of suck at planning shit."

"No, that sounds great." Hinata slipped the store key into her purse.

"I just gotta remember where the fuck I parked," he mumbled. "...Oh, I know."

When they finally made it to Hidan's mode of transportation, Hinata froze in her spot, her eyes wide. She had been expecting to see a car parked where Hidan had brought her. She looked absolutely terrified as she stared at the black and blue motorcycle.

"I've never ridden on one of those..." Her voice trailed off as her heart rate increased as anxiety began to kick in. "I don't know if I can..."

Hidan laughed and mounted the bike. "It's not a big deal or anything. Besides, all you have to do is hold onto me. I promise I won't go ridiculously fast or anything."

She hesitated, still unsure. "I won't fall off, will I?"

"Nah, my driving skills don't suck that bad," he quipped.

Hidan watched with amusement as she took a deep breath and carefully got onto the motorcycle behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, letting out a soft cry of surprise when he started the engine.

"Hang on tight," he told her, glancing over his shoulder. "As long as you don't let go of me, you won't fall off."

"O-Okay." She buried her face between his shoulder blades, too afraid to look.

To her surprise, the drive to the movie theater hadn't been as bad as she had expected. Hidan knew how to control the bike well enough where the ride was smooth, and the fact that he managed not to get pulled over was another relief.

"You okay?" Hidan asked, climbing off. "You looked pretty freaked out."

"N-No, I'm fine," she told him, not admitting that she had been a little on edge.

He smirked, holding onto her as she tried to get off. "Well, I tried not to drive like a lunatic today. Usually I'm weaving in and out of traffic and going like twenty miles over the fucking speed limit."

"I see..." Hinata sweat dropped at the mental image, grateful that they had made it to the theater in one piece.

Once Hidan had paid for the tickets and refreshments, he and Hinata made their way to the designated theater. Unlike many of the other couples, he had made it a point to avoid any chick flicks or sappy love stories. He hated those types of the movies, and the fact that they would be packed with a bunch of lovesick morons would make them even more annoying. Instead, he had chosen a bloody horror movie, the viewing room nearly empty.

"I've been wanting to see this movie for ages." Hidan let Hinata sit down, then plunked his ass down on the seat next to her. "And we have the theater to ourselves for the most part."

"Is it scary?" she asked him, a nervous look on her face.

"It's supposed to be the creepiest, bloodiest movie of the year," he told her excitedly, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "I can't fucking wait."

"Me neither," she lied.

Hinata didn't want to tell him that she actually hated those types of movies. She always got scared during horror movies, and if they were gory, she would probably be spending a good portion of the film with her eyes covered by her hands. Blood was not an image she could handle. Hidan picked up on that fact right way when she jumped in her seat when a creepy looking monster dragged itself after one of the main characters. Hinata couldn't help but turn away when the person was brutally killed on screen by said creature, burying her face in Hidan's shoulder.

"You okay?" He looked at her with amusement, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Hinata nodded, yet she did not look back at the screen. The pained screams and nauseating sounds of the person getting ripped apart made her unable to move her face out of its hiding spot. With a soft chuckle, Hidan pulled her out of her seat and onto his lap, earning a soft, surprised squeak from her.

"Don't be so scared," he told her, the trembling girl clutching onto his shirt. "It's only a movie."

"I-I know," she replied, her voice muffled by his chest.

Hidan smiled, more than happy to hold her. She felt so small and warm in his arms, and the longer she sat on his lap, the less he wanted that moment to end. However, the film eventually came to a finish, and Hidan regretfully let her go.

"So, can your stomach handle food right now? I was going to take you out to dinner," he told her as they exited the theater.

Hinata gave him a brief nod, trying to forget the nauseating sequences she had peeked at during the movie. "I'm okay."

"You sure?" Hidan steadied her when she stumbled. "You look like you might puke."

"No, I'm fine," she insisted. "I'm getting a little hungry. What about you?" She had been too disturbed to eat any snacks during the film, so her stomach was empty and in need of food.

"Yeah, I'm fucking starving," he told her, then gently took her hand. "But the place I'm taking you is right down the street, so we're just going to walk there."

Hinata blushed, her hand completely covered by his much larger one. "Okay. I'm surprised that you're so hungry considering that you had a few snacks..."

"A large popcorn, nachos, two boxes of candy, and two big ass sodas. That's not all that much food," he commented.

As the couple walked towards their destination, neither of them noticed the group of teenagers across the street. Consisting of the group were Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Neji, Tenten, Lee, Kiba, and Shino.

"Sakura-chan, pleeeassse go out with meeee!" Naruto begged, holding out the large stuffed animal and box of chocolates.

"For the last time, no!" Sakura huffed and crossed her arms. "How many times do I have to tell you, you idiot? I'm not interested."

"But Sakura-chaaaan," Naruto whined, pouting.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You look pathetic right now, Naruto."

The blond glared at him. "Shut up! I didn't ask you!"

"I have my sights set on someone else!" Sakura told him, not-so-subtly edging closer to Sasuke. "So, did you like my present, Sasuke-kun?"

Before he could respond, Ino stepped in. "I bet he liked mine way more. Didn't you Sasuke?"

"Well-" Sasuke was cut off as Naruto chimed in.

"Sakura-chan, how about we go together and Ino can go with Sasuke," he suggested, causing everyone except Ino to sweat-drop.

The pinkette growled. "Hell no! And Ino-Pig, get away from Sasuke-kun!"

"Make me, Forehead," Ino snapped, the two of them glowering at each other.

Sasuke sighed. "This is going to be a long day."

"But Sakura-chaaan," Naruto complained again. "Why won't you go out with meee?"

Sakura grabbed the box of candy out of Naruto's hands and bopped him over the head with it. "Naruto, why don't you ask out someone who actually wants to go out with you? Like Hinata, for example."

"Hinata?" Naruto looked confused. "Hinata wants to go out with me?"

"You're a little slow, aren't you?" Shikamaru sighed. "It's pretty obvious that she likes you."

"Yeah, you're just too dense to notice," Tenten added.

Naruto considered the thought. "Well, she _is_ really nice. And really cute. And she's got a nice set of-" He abruptly stopped upon coming face-to-face with Neji's death glare. "Um...she's really smart!"

Ino's eyes widened as she noticed their friend across the way. "Actually, Naruto, it looks like you might be too late. Look over there."

The entire group turned to see Hinata walking hand-in-hand with Hidan, still dressed in her not-so-modest work uniform. Naruto, Neji, and Kiba's eyes all went as big as saucers, their mouths hanging open. Naruto and Kiba were gawking at her outfit, while Neji was having a conniption over the fact that his younger cousin was out with a guy.

"That guy she's with is freaking hot!" Ino commented, Sakura and Tenten nodding in agreement.

"Who the hell is that guy?" Kiba demanded.

Sasuke made an annoyed expression. "That's one of Itachi's friends. His name is Hidan, and he's an arrogant, loud-mouthed asshole."

"Ooooh, an _older_ guy," Tenten squealed.

Neji twitched. "No way...no way can I let her go out with a guy like that!"

"Don't you dare!" Ino and Sakura held him back as he tried to storm over to the unsuspecting couple.

Tenten sighed. "Neji, don't ruin this for your cousin! She deserves a guy! And besides, just because he might be a jerk to some people, it doesn't mean that he's that way towards her. Look how happy she is."

Naruto felt a twinge of jealously. "But what if he does treat her badly?"

"Yeah, we need to get her away from that guy," Kiba added.

"Oh, no you don't!" Sakura snarled, getting in their way.

Naruto, Kiba, and Neji protested the idea, while Sakura, Ino, and Tenten refused to let them butt in. Sasuke shook his head and sighed, as did Shikamaru. Chouji commented about how it looked like they were heading towards a favorite restaurant of his, while Lee began to rave over how Hinata and her date were enjoying their youth, all while doing his Nice-Guy pose. Sai joined them a few seconds later and simply stood there, lost as to what all the commotion was.

"Are you afraid she is going to sleep with him?" he asked out of the blue.

The bickering teenagers froze and all eyes were on him. "WHAT!?"

Sai shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "It's what people do. If the date goes well, there is a possibility that those two will be engaging in sexual intercourse later. And if he's eighteen, that means he can purchase alcohol. Therefore, the chance of drunken intercourse goes up."

"WHAAATTT!?"

"Jeez, would those fucking teenagers shut the hell up already?" Hidan mumbled as he led Hinata into the restaurant. "Annoying fuckers..."

"They sounded kinda familiar," Hinata murmured, before shrugging. "Oh, well."

To Hidan's relief, the place wasn't as crowded as he was afraid it would be. Once they were seated, the waiter handed them their menus, his gaze lingering on Hinata's chest for a bit too long. That did not go unnoticed by Hidan. If looks could kill, the waiter would be dead on the floor in a puddle of blood. Instead, the teenage boy scurried off in fear, not wanting to be reduced to a pile of mush.

"Fucker," Hidan mumbled, scanning through the menu.

The rest of the meal went without incident, as the waiter had gotten someone else to take his place. The food was delicious, and when the bill came, Hidan threw a small stack of bills onto the table.

"Alright, I gotta go piss, but then we can go," he told her as he rose from his seat.

"Okay, I'll meet you by the front door." Hinata got up and headed towards the front of the restaurant as Hidan disappeared inside the men's restroom.

While she waited for him, she suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder. Surprised, Hinata turned around to see a girl standing there. The girl looked to be a little older than herself, with shoulder-length platinum blonde hair with a few dark streaks through it. She wore a form-fitting light blue tube top that exposed her pierced naval, and tight jeans slung low on her hips. Her pretty face was furrowed into a frown, and her green eyes seemed to pierce right through Hinata.

"Um...can I help you?" Hinata asked, perplexed.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice you and your...date," the girl began.

Hinata looked at her uneasily. She didn't know what she was getting at. "Okay, what's this about?"

The blonde crossed her arms as her lips curled into a smirk. "I just think it's pathetic how desperate Hidan is right now. I mean, I only just dumped his ass, but I didn't think he would look for a rebound bitch so quick."

"E-Excuse me?" Hinata gave her a strange look.

"Well, anyway, I've been thinking," the girl said, changing the subject. "Maybe I was a little harsh with him when I last spoke to him. I mean, I'm the best he's ever had, so he's probably devastated from losing me. I'm sure he'll come crawling back to me the second he sees me. So why don't you spare yourself the rejection by getting the fuck outta here. Now."

Hinata didn't respond and struggled to keep her burning tears at bay. Was this girl really Hidan's ex?

"Come on, get the fuck outta here," the girl sneered, giving Hinata a push. "He won't want you once he sees me. Now go, slut."

"But-"

"You have five seconds to get the hell outta here, or I'll drag you out by your hair," the blonde threatened.

Hinata swallowed. "If Hidan doesn't want me, he can tell me himself."

"Trust me, he won't want you once he knows that he can have me again. You really should just save yourself the rejection by leaving before he comes back."

At a loss of words, Hinata seemed frozen to her spot. Part of her wanted to run out of the restaurant and call herself a taxi to get home. However, she wouldn't allow herself to leave just like that. The least she could do was wait for Hidan to tell her himself whether or not he wanted to be with her.

The older girl, however, didn't seem so keen about letting her stick around and roughly grabbed her arm to drag her out of the building. "Get the fuck out-"

"Hey!"

Both girls jolted as Hidan came storming over, fury written over his handsome face. Hinata looked at him with a worried expression, her arm still grasped in the other girl's vice-like grip. His ex smiled and was about to say something before Hidan cut her off.

"Mai, let her the fuck go." He glowered at her.

Unfazed by his harsh tone, she released his date and smiled up at him. "I like it when you get angry. It's sexy."

He pulled Hinata closer to him, surprising the younger girl. "What the hell do you want? And where's Bongo Boy? You know, that scrawny little motherfucker that you decided to cheat on me with."

"Sweetie, don't be like that," Mai pouted. "He wasn't really my type in the end. I shouldn't have dumped you like that, but now you have the chance to get back together with me."

"Not interested," he said bluntly, shoving past her as he tugged Hinata after him out the building.

"Hey, now wait a fucking minute!" Mai rushed after them and tried to grab Hidan's arm this time. "You're just going to leave like that? You should be begging to get back with me."

Hidan shook her off, refusing to even look at her directly as he strode away. "Sorry, I upgraded. Now fuck off."

They left the angry blonde behind, ignoring the insults that she shouted after them. Most of them were directed at Hinata, and Hidan wrapped his arm around her shoulders, glancing back over his shoulder to tell Mai to 'shut the fuck up'.

"Don't listen to that whore," he told Hinata as they got further away. "She's a jealous crazy bitch as you can see."

"I can see that," she replied with a small smile.

He sighed, then noticed that his ex had given up on her tirade and was already flirting with a different guy. Typical. As violent as he was, he would never hurt a female, even a raving bitch like Mai who deserved to get smacked. Oh, well. He could just send Pein's girlfriend, Konan, to kick her ass later. Yeah, he would do that.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that bullshit." He ran a hand through his silver hair. "I was going to take you to one last place, but if you want me to just bring you home, I understand."

"No, I'm having a great time," Hinata told him shyly, her face turning a light shade of red as she looked down. "I won't let someone like her ruin it for me."

Hidan smiled, relieved. "I don't know what she said to you, but just know this; I like you. A hell of a fucking lot to be honest with you. So she can go jump off a fucking cliff for all I care. I'd rather be with someone like you." He tilted her face up so that she was looking at him. "I mean it."

Hinata was speechless and simply stared up at him, shocked. A gust of wind blew by and she shivered, moving closer to Hidan without even realizing it. Hidan immediately took his jacket off and wrapped it around her. She started to protest, but went silent again when he pulled her into his arms for a hug.

"Take it," he insisted. "You're probably fucking freezing."

She relaxed against him. "Thank you."

Hidan let her go after a moment. "Alright, are you ready for our last stop?"

Hinata nodded and let him take hold of her hand again, enjoying how warm it was. "Where are we going?"

"Do you like ice cream?" He asked her, receiving an excited nod for an answer. "Good."

Ten minutes later, they were seated on a bench near the ice cream stand. Hidan gobbled down his chocolate cone, while Hinata delicately licked her vanilla one. He couldn't help but have dirty thoughts run through his mind as he watched her. When they were both finished, Hidan's gone before she had even gotten to her cone, they snuggled together, content.

"I had a really good time," Hinata murmured, looking up at him with her pretty lavender eyes. "Thank you for taking me out."

"Thanks for going out with an asshole like me in the first place," he replied with a laugh. "Most people find it difficult to get along with me. Your friend Sasuke probably hates me for making fun of his stuffed animal collection one day."

"Sasuke has a stuffed animal collection?" Hinata stifled a giggle, trying not to laugh at the image of the gloomy male sitting in his room with piles of plushy animals. "I never would've guessed."

Hidan snickered. "I took a picture of him playing with them and making them talk to each other."

This time she couldn't contain her laugh. "Oh, wow... I'll never look at him the same way again."

Hidan looked at her, entranced by her beauty. Unable to control himself, he leaned slightly to plant a soft kiss on her lips. He earned a small gasp from her and was about to pull away when he felt her respond with her own kiss. He pulled her closer and Hinata brought her hand up to his cheek, allowing him to kiss her harder.

When they finally parted, Hinata struggled to remain conscious. She had already fainted once in front of this guy, and she didn't want to do it again. Especially not on the same day in the middle of their date.

"Wanna be my fucking girlfriend?" Hidan asked suddenly, not beating around the bush and getting right to the point.

Hinata blushed again, but nodded. "Yeah. I'd like that."

"Good, you're a lot more mentally stable than my last one," he told her. "And a lot hotter, too."

Embarrassed, she looked down again. "Th-thank you."

"Hey, don't be like that," he teased, leaning down to kiss her again.

This time they held it for longer, and Hidan even slipped her some tongue, catching her off guard. This time, Hinata couldn't keep herself from fainting and passed out. Hidan chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder to pull her closer. She would be mortified once she realized that she had fainted in front of him again. Hidan didn't mind, finding it both cute and amusing.

Unbeknownst to him, Tobi happened to be walking by with Keiko. He had found Deidara after hours of searching, only for the highly annoyed blond to yell at him to go the hell away. So Tobi had decided to take his edible dinosaur out for a romantic walk, just in time to witness Hidan with his now unconscious date.

"OH, MY GOD! HIDAN SEMPAI, YOU KILLED YOUR DATE!" The masked boy exclaimed, attracting the attention of other bystanders.

"DAMMIT, TOBI! I'M GOING TO KILL _YOU_!"

**The end! I have to admit, I drew a lot of blanks on this story and kinda just winged it. I hope it didn't come out too bad or too long, or too annoying. Probably too clichéd but oh well! I don't care! XD**


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